By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: September 22, 2010
Not having an overabundance of confidence in legitimate Canadians is becoming an increasingly annoying practice by arrogant American companies. First, there was the whole debacle when I didn’t get hired by KFC after testing perfectly well for their Double-Down commercial. Some bullshit about a pre-existing heart condition, my bum, eh! You hosers were too afraid to admit that you are all Canadian-phobic. The only exception you Yanks make is when we are hot as Hell. Sure Pamela Anderson and Alex Trebek are exciting and dynamic eye candy, but there is substance below the surface. Canadian substance. Well screw you, don’t make me take back Evangeline Lilly or Anna Paquin, because I will and we’ll soon see who comes crawling back, boners and hat in hands.
Looks like Netflix is the most recent fuck up in what’s already a litany of embarrassing American greed. It wasn’t enough that they sent me an altered, sad copy of Juno (which stared one amazing Canadian: Ellen Page). I cannot believe that they actually reshot the entire movie with that pussy Michael Cera playing the role that Michael J. Fox executed perfectly to the delight of tens of tens of Canadians. Now we find out that they actually paid people to pose as Canada fans! Like there is a shortage of Canada fans in Canada?! Show me a self-loathing Canadian and I’ll show you an asshole that moved to Southern California because he couldn’t handle a diverse climate!
Alright, enough for now, I gotta go to hockey, if that’s alright with you Halliburton. Mooooom wait!!!!
