You know how it's 99% disgusting to throw-up? It stinks, burns, splashes everywhere, makes your eyes water, and cramps up your stomach muscles. BUT, there is the 1%. That far corner of your mind that you don't want to admit is there in the middle of your five alarm fire of hot mess. It is the part that is enjoying the vomiting process. Hopefully, my blog is that 1% .

Saturday, July 10, 2010


I was walking back to my car and it dawned on me that I left the iron on. It’s amazing how forgetful you get when you kill a hooker by applying too much Vicks Vapor Rub. Is that even a thing? You imaGine that your focus becomes as narrowed as she promised her vagina to be but wE all know how that turned out. Anyway, I can’t seem to concentrate on any 1 thing at a time anymore. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts about dinner, hoCkey and fly fishing. Which doesn’t make any sense right since fly fishing requires an ability to relax and focus all at once. Maybe it was the 8-ball? I’m thinking at a frenetic pace and I’m typing 2 sentences ahead of myself. Right now I’ve already thought of that. And that. And that. And that. Can you feel my skin crawling? I thought maybe you could because you are living all over me. Okay tell me you heard that? It’s like a perfect mix of a child crying and a blue whale cow delivering conjoined calfs. Jesus, remember that time we went to Knotts Berry Farm and ate caraMel appLes and dropped acid? I swear to God, you kept asking everyone there directions to Space Mountain. WhataRiot!

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