it asked me if these pants make my ass look fat (I said, “no, your fat ass makes your ass look fat”).
I can legally drive in the carpool lane.
I put a helmet on it to play hockey.
it can be fellated successfully.
it stole the covers while we were sleeping.
it beat me at wii bowling.
it made me see Avatar again.
it makes me walk to the left.
it ate a Snickers Bar and was satisfied.
it watches me masturbate (and offers advice).
it ate a Snickers Bar and now it has a zit.
it writes a more popular blog.