You know how it's 99% disgusting to throw-up? It stinks, burns, splashes everywhere, makes your eyes water, and cramps up your stomach muscles. BUT, there is the 1%. That far corner of your mind that you don't want to admit is there in the middle of your five alarm fire of hot mess. It is the part that is enjoying the vomiting process. Hopefully, my blog is that 1% .

Monday, April 19, 2010


it asked me if these pants make my ass look fat (I said, “no, your fat ass makes your ass look fat”).

I can legally drive in the carpool lane.

I put a helmet on it to play hockey.

it can be fellated successfully.

it stole the covers while we were sleeping.

it beat me at wii bowling.

it made me see Avatar again.

it makes me walk to the left.

it ate a Snickers Bar and was satisfied.

it watches me masturbate (and offers advice).

it ate a Snickers Bar and now it has a zit.

it writes a more popular blog.


  1. It stares at me like it wants to do something adult like to me.

  2. It's so big it is starting to get concerned about the enviroment.

    Can play 18 holes without getting tired.

    Has out grown baby food.