In a dramatic shift of events, negotiations have been resolved granting the Chilean government permission to evict 33 bloodsucking leaches. The settlers believed to be occupying the luxurious, deluxe low-rise, previously rent-controlled apartments located 2000 feet below the surface of one of the shittiest countries on the planet.
The obnoxious, gibberishly named "Los 33" have been squatting for the last 2 months seemingly abandoning family members, friends, and generous former employer Chilean Mining and Pedicures, without care or concern. Video feeds displaying giddy, drunken, slender men engaging in lewd acts have in recent days resulted in sending the nation's citizenry into a panicked frenzy attempting to join them. A few copycat groups such as the shiftless lay-about, Los 32 have been caught digging into random mud fields in desperate, vain hopes of riding the wave of a newly awakened culture. No longer can Chileans be accused of being a group of self-indulgent caffeine addicted misanthropic surfers. Sure, they have had a few distractions along the way, like some Pinochet dude and his cocksucking policy about hippie hating, but is that an excuse for the general population to namby-pamby around the underground and fuck up the best neighborhoods with their reverse gentrification?
In my opinion, you can't get those motherfuckers outta there soon enough!