This is what happens in the locker room.

To be read with an English accent.

Jordan: Indeed sir. Well it’s nice to make your acquaintance kind bedfellow.

Garrett: Likewise, yes indeed, indeed again, yes indeed. Why I have never, if I may be so bold, I say, I have never engaged in this fine activity know as, how does one say? Indeed, I believe it to be referred to as, ASSPLAY.

Jordan: Really, my oh my, okay, let’s get started.

Garrett: Oh my word. I never could have imagined. Wow, fine young man. That is a tough position you have put me in.

Jordan: Well, that does appear to be the object my good man. If perhaps, Mr. Man, I can get you to hold still a moment longer, I will “wash my hands as it were.”

Garrett: Oh, indeed I hope this doesn’t offend, but the pleasure/pain threshold is being compromised at this very moment, good sir.

Jordan: What’s my name BITCH???

Garrett: I’m sorry kind sir, can you please repeat?

Jordan: Oh, the apology is all mine good neighbor, I’m afraid I broke character for a brief moment.

Garrett: Quite alright. Indeed, I understand. You found yourself in a position of power. Who could blame you in this circumstance?

Jordan: Quite, quite.

Garrett: May I interrupt for the briefest of moments?

Jordan: Naturally.

Garrett: Is it normal to be losing this much blood? I hate to appear selfish, but I must insist that we cease all activity, for I feel light headed and nauseous.

Jordan: I can assure you kind sir, that all you’re feeling will go away in a moment, once I, as one does in this particular circumstance, I believe it is known by some as, um, “drop the hammer”.

Garrett: Okay then good chap, proceed forthrightly with all good intentions.

Jordan: Just one moment kind sir, for this cannot be rushed by any means or I may be obliged to start the entire ritual from the start.

Garrett: My sincerest apologies.

Jordan: Not at all. Do not give it another thought.

Garrett: Well, you were the one making a whole big thing of it.

Jordan: My sincerest apologies. Oh NO!

Garrett: What, may I ask, happened?

Jordan: I seemed to have ejaculated prematurely. Now it is I who must apologize.

Garrett: FUCK YOU JORDAN! That is gross!

Jordan: Now onto the salad tossing.

Garrett: Fine.